My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
