I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
