i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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