is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
