Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
