I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
