I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
