i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
