i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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