one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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