I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
