Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
