We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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