omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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