She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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