Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't you send me to vm
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
