So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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