Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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