Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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