you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
grandma shit on top of the toilet
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
