Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
