I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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