Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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