I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Your penis caused this!
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