Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
