plz talk dirty to me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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