mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just had sex on a roof
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize