I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
