oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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