Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize