Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize