I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
