you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Me too!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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