I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
