Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize