it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
sex in a hospital.. check
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
