Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
