Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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