someone threw a dead crab at me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
