Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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