She's JV to your varsity
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize