i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
