Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
