DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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