she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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