I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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