forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
