Duck Duck Cougar?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Randomize
