If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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