He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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