I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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