Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
