You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
