You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
