It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
