What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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