Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
