So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
