Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
