you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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