I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
