how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
