after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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